The Power of Words

In this post, I explore how the words we use—especially comparatives like "more" and "better"—can trap us in cycles of comparison and judgment. By shifting from vague aspirations to concrete, action-oriented language, we open ourselves to genuine growth and freedom. This is about more than semantics; it's about transforming how we see ourselves, our relationships, and our lives.

Word choice plays a key role in how I perceive life, so I am working on changing my inner monologue, as well as how I talk to others. There is always room to grow, so my language should reflect that.

I have found that comparatives—words like "more" or "better"—come across as nebulous, condemning, and judgmental. When I thought "I want a better marriage," does that mean it's not good? Who is responsible for that? "Better" than what? Do we know all the struggles in another marriage, for example?

Now, I try to say "I want to strengthen my marriage." People are in the gym getting stronger; I could do the same thing for my marriage. And if I ask my wife and have a discussion, now we are getting somewhere.

Another example: "I want to make more money." At first look, what's wrong with that sentence—I can count how much I make and want more. Who doesn't want "more"? I had a friend who would frequently say, "It's additional money; there is no extra," especially when you have children. However, the question, then, is what's enough. Every time I go through the thought exercise of what I would do if I won money, there is never enough money for everything I want to do: fix the house, pay off the house, pay off debt, buy a new car, save for college for my children, travel, etc., etc., etc. There is always more we could, right?! And we don't think about unexpected medical expenses, job loss, or disaster.

The Bible talks about abundance which has no dollar value attached to it. By saying "I want to make more money," I put myself in a position to compare myself or devalue my worth and the work that I am doing.

Therefore, changing my vocabulary moves from comparison and condemnation or the feeling of being stuck to a place of freedom and action steps. Some of the words I am trying to incorporate include:

improve • regulate • love • strengthen
increase • honor • rhythm • add
pattern • modify • respect • create

Language is how we see and talk about the world. Moving forward, I'm choosing my words carefully.

What words shape your inner dialogue?

I invite you to notice the language you use with yourself this week. Where do comparatives show up in your thinking? What would change if you replaced "better" with "strengthen" or "more" with "create"?

If you'd like to explore how your inner dialogue is shaping your spiritual journey, I'd welcome the opportunity to walk alongside you. As a Certified Spiritual Director and Certified Life Leadership Coach, I offer a sacred space to examine the words we live by and discover new language for the life you're being called to live.

Schedule a free consultation to begin the conversation.